Now That Baseball Is Over...

Baseball is on hiatus (thanks a million, Yankees) and the offseason hasn't really begun yet (no, the Sox signing Jeremy Hermida does not count as starting the offseason when what we REALLY need is a shortstop and another power bat). What's a Sox fan supposed to do to fill his time? Methinks I should watch more "wrestling," if this is the sort of thing happens on a regular basis:



This is one of the more epic things I have ever seen. I can totally do that, I just don't wanna.

Also, a quick question for my Cubs fans out there: what the FUCK happened to Sammy Sosa's face?

Thanks to Hot Clicks for the links...even if Jimmy Traina is a Yankees fan.

Tweets From The World Series

For a Sox fan, there is only one thing worse than the baseball season being over. As of Wednesday night, the baseball season is over because the New York Yankees won the World Series. If that doesn't deserve a "FML," I don't know what does.

I hadn't been watching much of the Series prior to Game 6; as I've stated before on this blog, I hate watching the Yankees for any reason. I broke my own rule for Game 6, however, mainly because Pedro Martinez was pitching in a must-win game and Pedro is the only active player I would want to have in that situation. I'm a little biased towards the guy thanks to his time on the Sox (sub-par Game 6 performance aside, I'd have the man's babies in an instant), so I decided to break my Twitter boycott and bring back my Tweets From Game (Fill In The Blank) series for as long as Pedro was in the game.

I'll complain about the Series on another occasion (God knows I have a lot to complain about...damn Yankees and their 27 championships and their rich owner and their ridiculously hot WAGs), but for now, enjoy my Tweets From The World Series.
---
6:42 pm: Just realized Ozzie Guillen is a World Series analyst...bleepin' hilarious
--Does anyone else think it's ironic and awesome that baseball's answer to Bobby Knight was an analyst on FOX for the Series?

6:48: Someone step on a cat with bronchitis? Jesus that sucked
--Can someone please tell me how the hell Mary J. Blige earned a record deal? I've done better renditions of the National Anthem when I was singing in the shower and too drunk to remember the words.

6:54: Hard to believe this will be Pedro and Pettitte's first postseason matchup...go Petey!!!!
--FOX plays a promo that states that Game 6 will pit Pedro and Andy Pettitte against each other in the playoffs for the first time. Interesting for two guys who have been on so many playoff teams, particularly during Pedro's Red Sox years. Guess Pettitte was never an ace...oh, no I didn't!

7:07 pm: Mound meeting after one pitch? Wtf Pedro
--In all my years of watching baseball, I can't remember another time when I saw a meeting on the mound after one pitch (unless this was the pitch).

7:09: Matchup of the Idiots: Pedro 1, Judas 0
--Petey strikes out Judas with a 75-mph changeup. In case you're wondering, the answer is no: I have not referred to Judas by his given name since he betrayed the Sox.

7:28: Hey, Petey hit 86 mph...woot woot
--Pedro, who had been struggling with his velocity, finally breaks the 85-mph barrier for the first time all game.

7:29: 88? Hot damn
--...and on the very next pitch, he practically breaks the speed of light. Okay, not really.

7:32: Joe Buck thinks Pedro "could very well" get into the Hall...I think Joe Buck is an idiot
--Pedro has been the best pitcher in the Steroid Era; he is a LOCK to make the Hall of Fame on his first ballot. Joe Buck thinks he "could very well" make the Hall? Joe is, in my humble opinion, a...

7:43: When learn to speak English, Joe Buck will?
--Buck has this incredibly irritating habit of putting his subjects at the end of his sentences; "0-for-5, Francisco is." Stop it, Joe.

7:59: Matchup of the Idiots: Pedro 1, Judas 1
--Judas walks, and I die a little inside.

8:01 pm: Come on, Petey...you're supposed to hit JUDAS. Preferably in the face.
--Pedro hits the very next batter, Mark Texiera, with a pitch to load the bases. If you're going to hit anyone, please hit the traitorous sunofabitch with no morals, loyalty, or male genitalia.

8:05: That's why Pedro's the best pitcher in the 'Roid Era...he makes 'roiders look stupid
--Petey makes A-Roid look like, well...

8:12: Aww, did ickle Judas get a booboo? Grow a pair, douchebag
--Judas leaves the game with a hamstring pull. There's nothing I enjoy more than seeing Judas get hurt, but I really do prefer when it's something manly. Like what Randy Johnson did to that bird. That would be manly, Judas. Take notes.

8:46: I really hope that's not the last we see of Pedro...not his best stuff, but a champion nonetheless
--Pedro was pulled after five innings. It was the last appearance of his contract with the Phillies, and I don't have words to express how badly I want him to come back for another year. He's one of my favorite players ever; I'll even forgive him for the shitshow that was Game 6 (more on that in my next post).

Top Three Pedro vs. Yankees Moments

Last week, Pedro Martinez (in his infinite awesomeness) claimed that he is "the most influential player that ever stepped in Yankee Stadium." This is up for debate (some guy named Babe Ruth spent quite a bit of time in the Cathedral, after all), but the 38-year-old has had more than his share of fabulous moments against the Pinstripes. I love the guy for all the time he put in with the Sox, and when Petey gets another chance to face the Yanks in an hour, I'll personally be hoping for another one of these:

3. Jeter and Soriano Hospitalized: Pedro has never been afraid of any batter, and proved it in 2003 when he sent both Derek Jeter and Alfonso Soriano to the hospital with beanballs. Throwing at batters is one of my least favorite parts of the game, but I'll excuse anything when it happens to the Yankees. Which leads quite nicely to...

2. The Pedro-Zimmer Incident: I don't exactly condone this particular moment, but you can't deny that it helped cement his legacy as the Yanks' most-hated opponent of the decade. Yankees bench coach Don Zimmer was 72 years old, and should have known better than to bullrush anybody during a bench-clearing brawl. Pedro probably shouldn't have grabbed his face and pushed him to the ground, but what else would he have done in the situation? Baseball rules don't allow a pitcher to carry a toreador flag onto the field, so Pedro did the next best thing. Not that I condone violence against the Yankees, of course.


1. Pedro's 17 K's: Vintage Pedro, the guy the Phillies really need to show up tonight. On September 10, 1999, Petey blew the Yankees away with 17 strikeouts in a one-hit complete game; the win helped wrap up Pedro's first Cy Young award, and helped me fall in love with the guy. Who's your daddy, New York?

A Moment Of Schadenfreude

I haven't been following the World Series especially closely, because I hate the Yankees so much that I try to avoid watching them unless it's absolutely necessary (i.e., when they play the Sox). I've been keeping track of the scores, and that's about it...until last night.

I was sitting on the Internet in GirlfriendRach's room following Game 5 last night, and I came across this gem on Yahoo!. I started cackling uncontrollably, because I am a horrible person and I love watching the Yankees suffer. GirlfriendRach, who has so far been able to resist my attempts to turn her into a baseball fan, looked up at me and delivered the line of the night.

Me: "Mwahaha...heeheehee...hehehe...hohoho..."
GirlfriendRach: "...baby, I love you but that's really creepy."

Yeah, I get that a lot.